So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
