OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
tell me about the fingering
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
