theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
