this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
