dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Randomize
