I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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