the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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