Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
