Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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