we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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