Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
