I think i peed on brittanys purse
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You made out with two different species that night
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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