theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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