I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
