do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
