this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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