we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
