just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I fill condoms, not promises.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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