I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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