Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
