When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize