One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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