my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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