She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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