I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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