do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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