I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
