Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
why is half of my head shaved?
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