Me. At least after what I've been through.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
