I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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