are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
