Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
