I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
