Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I seem to have left my pride at pride
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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