Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
