I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
