i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
