At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
