Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there is glitter all over my balls
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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