yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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