It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
even my farts smell like vagina
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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