I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
