i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
