never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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