you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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