I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
