At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
