I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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