i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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