I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
