We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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