if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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