Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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