just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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