i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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