If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize