When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
