im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Come on in and take your pants off
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
