sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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