If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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