1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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