We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
