Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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