Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
