I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
