Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
