There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
