He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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